meet jen
Trauma-Informed Master Life Coach.
Recovering Perfectionist and People Pleaser.
Yoga Teacher. Author. Columnist.
It took me half my life (literally) to meet my bravery.
I was always the good girl, the good student, the good partner—attached to how I performed, how I looked, what I said, and doing it “right” all the time.
I didn’t know it then, but I was looking outside of myself—in my partners, in my clothing and possessions, in certain friendships, and my academic and career achievements—to give me what I wanted to feel inside: validated, worthy, chosen, enough.
I was smart but doubted my abilities, didn’t trust myself, deeply feared making mistakes, held myself back in life, and developed anxiety and insomnia.
I’ve always been a seeker, but it wasn’t until an unexpected divorce at midlife that my healing journey truly began. I faced my pain and trauma, and came to terms with my wounding and programming.
I noticed that I had been in romantic relationships almost my whole life, turning to those relationships to fill a perceived void within me. I needed to learn how to love myself, so I went on a quest to reclaim my sovereignty after my divorce.
In the years that followed, here’s what I’ve learned and healed through my inner work:
Clarity on how my parents' traumas formed the blueprint for my attachment pattern and contributed to the culture in my family of origin that facilitated my childhood wounding.
Understanding the connection between my emotionally-distant father, how I learned to love, and why my romantic relationships never worked out.
Recognizing the role shame had in keeping me small.
Transforming self-doubt into self-trust and confidence to be braver, bigger, to make mistakes, and to allow my voice to be heard and seen as valid.
No longer turning to romantic relationships as my savior.
Regulating my nervous system to be able to go bigger (and sleep at night).
Transforming my relationship with my inner critic and perfectionist parts.
Trusting myself to make decisions. The first big life decision I made that was about choosing me was moving to Mexico.
My inner work has gifted me choices, and through those choices, I am more confident, courageous, and at peace with who I am. And have greater inner security.
My inner work continues (as it does for all of us.)
Certifications:
Trauma-Informed Master Life Coach (Elementum Coaching Institute: Alexi Panos, Preston Smiles, Christine Hassler, Stefanos Sifandos)
Integrative Wellness Coach (Integrative Wellness Academy: Dr. Rachel Dew)
Yoga Teacher
M.B.A.
And life.
Other teachers I’ve learned from:
David Bedrick @ Santa Fe Institute for Shame-Based Studies
Richard C. Schwartz @ IFS Institute (Internal Family Systems)
Sand Symes, Spiritual Coach
Plant spirits
I thank them all.